Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday lyrics
Song information
Artist: Brad Paisley Album: A Brad Paisley Christmas
Lyrics
And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents a special holiday edition of the adventures of the kung pao buckaroos
Well, it's a kung pao buckaroo holiday Whatever you do watch what you say If you're easily offended well that's okay It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday
We catch up with our three cowboys one cold december night huddled around a camp fire
How 'bout we sing some holiday songs? Yeah, hey george, you wanna lead us off? Yeah, I got one
Oh chri-biip-mas tree oh chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thy branches..
Why am I getting bleeped again? Haven't you heard guys? you can't say chri-biip-mas you gotta say holiday I can't say chri-biip-mas? No, you might offend somebody Who is offended by chri-biip-mas? You know you might offend the biiiips and the biiiips and the atheists What? Time to politically correct
I'll lead this off
On the first day of chri-biip-mas my true love said to me…
Jimmy, are you listening? What? You can't say chri-biip-mas Why not? If you can say he-biiiip on the last record Why can't I say chri-biip-mas? I didn't make the rules Hey listen guys, it's not that difficult, all you gotta do is change chri-biip-mas to holiday You know, instead of saying white chri-biip-mas, you say i'm dreaming of a whi-biiip holiday Why did I get bleeped? You've got to say caucasian So I have to sing, i'm dreaming of a caucasian holiday? Sure, that won't offend anyone
Well, it's a kung pao buckaroo holiday Whatever you do watch what you say If you're easily offended well that's okay
Why do these people have to feel that way? how come they get offended so easily?
It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday
I'm just trying to come up with a song here Let's sing one together, everybody ready? george? Ready Bill you ready? I'm ready Jimmy? jimmy? jimmy? Okay!
We three kings of or-biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts we've traveled real far…
Sorry boys, you have to say asia now What? Oh, come on just try I've got to get hyped up for this
We three kings of asia are…
That sounds like horse cr-biiiip Oh lord, okay. how 'bout little drummer boy? Nope, that offends short people And you can't say drummer 'cause that'll offend real musicians
How 'bout little –hahaha- town of bethlehem What's with all the short jokes?
Hey how 'bout we do silent night? No, it offends people hard of hearin' and afraid of the dark What did he say about a shark? Shark?
This happens every year
Well, it's a kung pao buckaroo holiday Whatever you do watch what you say If you're easily offended well that's okay It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday
Ho! ho! ho! No I can't say ho? No, you might offend some... women So basically, we can't sing anything?
I think thats a bunch of bull biiiip Softer, george, it's more effective I think thats a bunch of bull biiiip Wait just a dar-biip minute.. No, no, no. You now what? I don't care who we offend, i'm gonna sing chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing chri-biip-mas carols Louder, bill, it's more effective I don't care who we offend, i'm gonna sing chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing chri-biip-mas carols Me too
We wish you a merry chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year
We can't say new; it'll offend the old folks And you better not offend them
Us…
[from http://lyrics.doheth.co.uk]
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