Otto Titsling lyrics
Song information
Artist: Bette Midler
Album: Mud Will Be Flung Tonight
Lyrics
Otto titsling, inventor and kraut
Had nothing to get very worked up about
His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak
He fled to the opera at least twice a week
One night at the opera he saw an aida
Who's bust was so big it would often impede her
Bug-eyed he watched her fall into the pit
Done in by the weight of those terrible tits
Oh, my god! there she blows!
Aerodynamically this girl was a mess
Otto eye-balled the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds
And he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration
Flood his soul
He ran back to his workshop
Where he futzed and futzed and futzed
For otto titsling had found his quest:
To lift and mold the female breast;
To point the small ones to the sky;
To keep the big ones high and dry!
Every night he'd sweat and snort
Searching for the right support
He tried some string and paper clips
Hey! he even tried his own two lips!
Well, he stiched and he slaved
And he slaved and he stitched
Until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning
Otto arose from his workbench triumphant
Yes! he had invented the worlds first
Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. hooray!
Exhausted but ecstatic otto ran
Out to the diva
Bearing the prototype in his hot little hand
Now, the diva did not want to try the darn thing on
But, after many initial mishaps
She finally did
And the sigh of relief that issued forth
From her mouth
Was so loud that it was mistaken by some
To be the early onset of the siroccan winds
Which would often roll through the schwarzwald
With a vengance!
Ahhhhh-i!
But little did otto know
At the moment of his greatest triumph
Lurking under the diva's bed
Was none other than the very worst
Of the french patent thieves
Phillip debrassiere
And phil was watching the scene
With a great deal of interest!
Later that night, while brun hilda slept
Into the wardrobe phillip softly crept
He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore
'Til he found otto's titsling and he ran out the door
Crying, "oh, my god! what joy! what bliss!
I'm gonna make me a million from this!
Every woman in the world will wanna buy one
I will have all the goods manufactured in taiwan."
The result of this swindle is pointedly clear:
Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere?
[from http://lyrics.doheth.co.uk]
"Mud Will Be Flung Tonight" album track list
|
