Bowling Song (Almighty Malachi, Professional Bowling God) lyrics

Song information

Artist: Stephen Lynch
Album: Superhero

Lyrics

You watch me on your tv
Say that my job is easy
Say I am not athletic
You think my sport's pathetic

But you can't judge me 'till you walked a mile in my bowling shoes

So I don't get all the ladies
Gotta mullet from the 80's
I am known throughout the valleys
As the prophet of alleys

And as I roll the ball I cry, "let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm almighty malachi, the bowling god
The smell of resin gets my high
Kiss those fucking pins goodbye!
I'm almighty malachi, the bowling... the bowling... god

Got a ball that's smooth and all black
I keep it in my lucky ball sack
I get a feeling in my soul
As I finger every hole

And as I roll the ball I cry, "let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm almighty malachi, the bowling god
The smell of resin gets my high
Kiss those fucking pins goodbye!
I'm almighty malachi, the bowling... the bowling..

Not a single man will try, to beat almighty malachi
All that challenge me are slain
Come on, fuckers, pick a lane
Marshall holden, gary dickens, get in line for your ass kickins'
John patraglia, norm duke, your so lame it makes me puke
Who among the pro-bowl sector
Dares to don his wrist protector
Not that pussy nelson burton, tells me that his wrist is hurtin'
Hey my prophet, earl the pearl, are ya' scared to give the ball a hurl?
How bout' dicky weber and his son pete? I'll tell the motherfuckers to cream of wheat!

And as I roll the ball I cry, "let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm almighty malachi, the bowling god
The smell of resin gets my high
Kiss those fucking pins goodbye!
I'm almighty malachi, the bowling... bowling... ohhhhh!
The bowling god!!

[from http://lyrics.doheth.co.uk]

"Superhero" album track list