First Redneck On The Internet lyrics
Song information
Artist: Cledus T. Judd Album: Did I Shave My Back For This?
Lyrics
Well, lordy, mercy, i's in a mess My wife run off with my tv set Didn't bother me none that she had to go 'Cept i's gonna miss all my tv shows
So I looked up to heaven, got down on my knees An' I cried: "dear lord, will you help me, please." "I need a tv by tomorrow night "'Cos ric flair's involved in a title fight."
Well I guess my tytheing finally paid off 'Cos early next mornin' shoulda seen what I saw Reached in my overhorse for my inhaler 'Cos there's a big brown box there, right in my trailer
I used my truck keys, cut open the box I was hopin' for a sony or a microbox I looked at the name and thought: "oh my gosh! "This must be a new one called macintosh."
Well my last tv was a whole lot wider But this'n here come with its own typewriter It had all the letters from a to z I guess you just type in what you wanna see
Well I thought I punched up: "wwf," But the tv screen said world wide web Then I broke out in a cold, cold sweat: I's the first redneck on the internet
He was the first red neck on the internet A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat He went on line just one time And now they won't forget The first redneck on the internet
It was all so new, I shoulda taken my time But I slammed that mouse up in four-wheel drive Last time I did so much pointin' and clickin' I had a .22 rifle shootin' at chickens
Then, all of a sudden it occurred to me The power I had with this fancy tv I could get back at my ex-wife With the touch of a button, I could ruin her life
So I got the number off her mastercard I bought a new lift kit and four new tyres Then, I got on line to her bank account Went ahead and closed that sucker out
I had her power and her water shut, slap, off The I sent an e-mail to her dead plain boss Lettin' him know that she told me She'd have his job by the end of the week
He was the first red neck on the internet A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat He went on line just one time And now they'll never forget, (won't forget.) The first redneck on the internet
Now the moral of the story, as a matter of fact In a couple of days I got my tv back She said she'd like to come back, as well I told her to go straight to aol
Now, thank the lord that the ups For droppin' that box at cledus' address If they ever wanna find him, it won't take long Type www.cledus.com
To reach the first red neck on the internet A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat He went on line just one time And now they'll never forget, (won't forget.) He was the first red neck on the internet The first red neck on the internet
Hey buck, p'preciate your help. you are the man
World wide web, population four zillion. cy hoot
[from http://lyrics.doheth.co.uk]
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